Quirks
by Error Cannot Reach Author
Summary: Shizuo and Izaya have been going out for a few months when Shizuo meets Psyche. Izaya's twin and possibly better half. When Shizuo gives into temptation will their relationship ever be the same again.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own durarara.**

It came as a shock when they first got together. Going from enemies to lovers in a week is sort of fast. But they couldn't bring themselves to regret the change. It certainly was better than them, well Shizuo, tearing up the town. Sure Izaya loved mind screwing with the blond but now he could do that in a more beneficial way. And Shizuo loved fighting with the red eyed informant. Even if he did wish Izaya would stop with some of his little quirks. Hell he even composed a list.

Quirk 1:

Izaya's way of always having to be in charge. _Shizuo was the seme, damnit._

Quirk 2:

How Izaya would screw with everyone's mind. Even little kids.

Quirk 3:

How he would keep all these secrets. Not trusting him even though they were going out.

Quirk 4:

Staying up late working. _Sure work is important, but they need to find a middle ground._

Quirk 5:

Being such a damn know-it-all.

Quirk 6:

Calling him by that damn nickname even though he had told him time and time again to stop.

Quirk 7:

Being a complete jerk and refusing to cuddle after doing the deed.

Quirk 8:

Being slightly suicidal since he seems to love high places.

Quirk 9:

Not knowing when to leave or when he is wanted.

Quirk 10:

Still getting him in trouble just for the fun of it.

And the list went on and on. After a month, he had written it all down and had contemplated showing it to Izaya to see if he could at least try for some of them. But he decided that it wouldn't be nice of him, so he just threw it away. Not believing that Izaya would actually empty the trash and see it.

**Izaya's pov**

_Time to empty the trash. Oh look what is that. What would my dear Shizu-chan try to hid from me. My birthday is coming up. I probably shouldn't read it but oh well. _He laughed to himself before starting to skim through the note. Slowly, his smile faded into a deep frown. The list seemed to go on forever before finally coming to an end.

_Is this how he really feels? Fuck. Definitely not a birthday present._ He stuffed the note into his pocket before finishing emptying out the trash. After coming back in he went to go sit on the couch they had picked together. He brought his legs up to his chest and held on to them for dear life. Trying to figure out why he always was such a failure to the people he cared about.

**Time skip**

"Hey Shizu-chan, what if I told you I had a twin brother who looked exactly like me but who's personality was the complete opposite? What would you do?" Izaya question Shizuo. He was draped over his shoulders trying to have as much contact as he could.

"Seriously? Wow, I thought you only had your sisters. Hmm. I don't know what I would do." He contemplated for a few more seconds before turning back to face Izaya. Time seemed to slow when he began to talk again.

"I guess I would wonder why I didn't meet him first. But I'm glad I have you." He said, trying to be honest while trying not to hurt Izaya's feelings. But the damage was done already. And before he could even try and fix it, he ruined it even further by shrugging out of Izaya's grip and getting up and leaving the room.

"Izaya, I think I'm going to have to run. I told Celty I would hang out with her later so I better get going. Don't wait up. Love you." He walked out of the large apartment whose walls were slowly coming in closer to trap his dark haired lover who had simply nodded when he said he was leaving. Little did he know that Izaya was having a mental breakdown.

_Shit. Why did he say that? Aren't I enough? Why does the room seem to be getting smaller? Why does he have to be like everyone else? I thought he was different. Everyone always likes Psyche better than me. I'm so stupid. Did I really think he would be the one to prove me wrong? Even my parents chose him over me. My sister too. Even the few friends I had before I met Shinra, but then again he probably likes Psyche better too. God I am such an idiot._

And so, the great and mighty Izaya laid down and cried himself to sleep.

**A/N: Hello! Well this idea has been bugging me for a while. Next chapter: enter Psyche. I am planning on having Shizuo cheat on Izaya just cause I can. I don't know if this will end happily or not. So deal with me people. Review please. I want to know if I should continue or not. Bye and again, review! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own durarara.**

**Shizuo's pov**

_Why did I come with Celty again? She just ditched me at a bar. Wow, what a great friend she is. I mean, I know she doesn't like Izaya but really. She didn't have to leave me here with the instructions to meet another guy. I have Izaya and that is enough for me. Sure I wrote that list of things he could improve on but all of those things just make him who he is. What the hell? Why is Izaya here? I thought he was at the apartment. _

"Hello, can I sit there? I'm Psyche, by the way. You are Shizuo, right?" The pink version of Izaya asked. Shizuo stared for a couple of seconds. He blinked a couple of times before looking down at his still mostly full glass.

"Oh sorry. Yeah, I'm Shizuo. Nice to meet you." He looked away. But before he knew it he was drawn into a conversation with the stranger. And the rest of the evening was a blur.

Before they knew it, the bar was about to close and they weren't even done with their conversation. They made plans to contact each other later and each went their own way.

**With Shinra**

"And we got along so well. God I wish Izaya was like that sometimes. He doesn't even try to be understanding. He just does his own thing and feels like no one can complain. It is so annoying. Psyche is like the nicer, less annoying version of him." When he paused for breath Shinra started talking.

"Oh you met Psyche. Yeah he is a good guy. Man, I can't name anyone who doesn't like him. Well except for Izaya. Being twins with Psyche was hard on him it seems. I wonder why. But good for you. A new friend. See you aren't a monster like Izaya said." Shinra looked thoughtfully at Shizuo for a few seconds.

"Haha. You wouldn't happen to be falling for Psyche, would you." Shinra joked. "You would kill Izaya if that happened."

"What!? Of course not. I love Izaya. Even if he is a jerk and gets me in trouble and is rude and doesn't know about space. Well, anyway, of course not." But it seemed like he was just trying to convince himself. He couldn't deny that him and Izaya had hit a rough patch in their relationship. Izaya had seemed sort of distant and Shizuo wasn't exactly making the effort to find out what was wrong. If anything, he was probably making it worse.

He had been hanging out with Psyche almost every day and they were becoming really good friends. Shizuo was even telling him about all the problems he and Izaya were having. And Psyche was always listening. Never judging him if it was outrageous or stupid for him to be mad.

But he was becoming sort of forgetful. Izaya would ask him out on a date and he would forget and go hang out with Psyche. Izaya would never comment after but he would see wet spots on his pillow in the morning. And he would wonder how he slept through Izaya sobbing into his pillow. But still he would not say anything. What could he say? 'Sorry' probably wouldn't cut it anymore.

And then the process would repeat. Each time he would say to himself 'this time I'll leave early' and each time he would keep talking. Pushing it to the back of his mind until he remembered at the last minute before he walked into the apartment. Where he would see a note saying takeout was in the fridge. Where he saw Izaya with his back to him. Looking like he was shaking but refusing to turn around and show his face. And Shizuo felt guilty.

To realize that the only reason why he remembered Izaya's birthday, that would be coming up in a month, was because Psyche's birthday was the same day. And as much as he wanted to change back to how they used to be, he couldn't. He couldn't deny that he started to think that they had rushed into their relationship.

So when Psyche asked him to stay the night one day he couldn't refuse. Only one thought about Izaya crossed his mind when he said yes.

_I'm sorry._

**A/N: Hello. Thank you to all the people who presses the favorite or follow or both buttons. And a giant thank you to the people who reviewed. I was crying as I wrote this chapter. Actually, still crying. I feel really bad for Izaya now. Maybe cause I picture it in my head as I write. Who knows. T.T**

**So please review. I would love to hear your thoughts. And this was the last update for the day. I think I did pretty good. I updated all of my stories within a 20- hour period. Bye and review please. I personally can't wait for the next chapter.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own durarara. Cause everyone would love Mikado and Shizuo and Izaya would be dating. Though they do make jokes in the anime...**

**Shizuo's pov**

He slowly sat up in bed before looking over at the warm body snuggled into his side. The Izaya look-a-like turned his head to face him. Big eyes blinked showing the only difference between the two brothers. Shizuo had to smile at the innocence that poured out of those pink eyes without a second thought. He laid back down before pulling Psyche close to him and giving him a chaste kiss on the forehead. His calm expression giving away none of his inner turmoil.

_Oh my God. I cheated on Izaya with Psyche. His twin brother. I'm dead. I'm dead. Izaya is going to kill me. He is going to hid my body to never be found again. Should I write a will? But what would I have to leave behind? Izaya was the one who paid for almost everything. Shit. I wonder how long I have until he knows. But I do want him to be happy. Even if he tries to kill me, I'll accept it as my punishment. It did seem like he was trying to be better. I wonder if he actually found the note though..._

He slipped out of the bed and walked down the hallway to the bathroom. Leaving Psyche to fall back asleep. When he woke up again Shizuo was gone. All that was left was the presence of a man walking calmly to his death.

**Izaya's pov**

_Haha I should have seen this coming. Even with me trying and trying. I guess I never am good enough. I try so damn hard and yet..._

_Look at them. Shizu-chan seems so h-happy. _He wiped the tears that were forming away and sat down on the ledge of the building._ I'm even stuttering in my head. _He bit back a hollow laugh. _What happened to me being a God? When did I stop thinking about it? _

_I think it's pretty obvious that I'm not wanted Shizu-chan. See I can tell after all. Even if it way too late. Was I ever wanted? And I mean truly wanted. Not like 'oh I wish you were here.' But like you felt as if you would die if you didn't see me. It certainly never seemed like that. _

_I tried to get us to spend more quality time together and you would blow it off. Coming 'home' late at night. It wasn't that hard to know that you had met my brother. Did you know that I first found out from my sisters? They kept calling and leaving messages. 'Oh brother, Psyche met someone! They are so happy together. Guess who it is? We'll give you a hint. You are very close to .' Over and over again. And it was obvious who they meant. I mean who else am I close to. The one person I opened my heart to was leaving almost everynight and not coming back till late. Did you know Psyche sprayed his cologne on you one day? _

_Yeah sweet, innocent little Psyche who would never hurt a fly. Claiming you. Stealing you. But it didn't seem like it took that much effort on his part. Did it. He would probably make a lot more money than I do conning people if my family would allow him to work. The fluttering of his long eyelashes. Were you hooked? I just want to know if you ever thought of me before you went. During. After. _

_All of the takeout boxes I brought back seem to say no. They aren't even food I like. I brought them just for you and you avoid them like the plague. Even all the milk I bought is going bad since you are never here to drink them anymore. _

_But I still love you. So I will do the right thing for once in my life._

And then Izaya stood up.

**A/N: Hello viewers! Inspired I decided to write this chapter. And don't worry I'm not going to kill Izaya off. Yet. Well truthfully I dont know. But he shall still be alive in the next chapter. And I am not planning any life threatening injuries either. For Shizuo cheating instead of breaking up, well I just felt that it would be more impacting. And now he feels guilty. Not so much if they weren't dating. Anyway I'm almost done with some of my other stories so I have a poll up. Please vote. So bye and review please. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own durarara.**

**Izaya's pov**

Turning around I saw Shizuo watching me. His hands were at his side and his beloved bartending outfit was in disarray. I watched as his still wet hair dripped down onto his shoulders. And even from where I stood I could smell my brother's shampoo on him. A sickening sweet blend of strawberries and bananas. Which were Shizuo favorite flavors of milk.

_I wonder if Psyche got that scent because of Shizu-chan. It would make sense. He must have been happy when he saw it in Psyche's bathroom. God why do I think things like that? It's bad enough that I already know he cheated on me. I wonder if he is here to confess his sins and break up with me. I wish we could go back to how we used to be in the beginning. When we couldn't get enough of each other. When we actually talked every day. Before we stopped talking and went in the opposite directions. Sort of._

_I should probably stop crying. Haha even Shizu-chan is looking worried even though he moved on. Does he want to apologize for what he did? Sorry to break it to you but it's a bit too late for that to fix everything. You were my world and than you destroyed my entire reason for living. My universe._

_Did our relationship ever have a time were we might have made it to the end? Or was it doomed from the start? Were we just hurting each other the entire time? I know this is my downfall but will it be yours too? I don't think we every really learned about each other. Seeing that you went with Psyche. Will my heart always be yours though?_

"It's okay Shizu-chan. I know." Izaya forced a smile onto his face. At odds with the tears falling down to collect under his chin. "We had a good time though, I think. You can pick up your stuff later if you want."

"Izaya I'm sorry. Truly I am. I didn't mean for it to happen. But I do feel like we should break up." Shizuo stiffened as if expecting for Izaya to hit him. Izaya couldn't help but shed a few more tears at the fact that his ex-lover trusted him so little.

"I'm not going to hurt you. Just so you know. No matter how mad I am at you." Betrayed. "But I am going to do the right thing. For you and for everyone." Izaya turned around to walk over to the side of the building. He looked down at all the life that was going on. Watching as couples walked down the street. Looking perfectly content.

Izaya felt himself being engulfed in Shizuo's arms and he was yanked back from the ledge. And for a second he let himself pretend that everything was alright before returning to the present.

"Damn flea. Don't kill yourself. That is never an option. You hear me!?" Shizuo stuck his head into the crook of Izaya's shoulder. Holding him close like everything was alright. Taking in deep breathes, trying to steady his breathing. "I can't let you do that to yourself. Not over me."

Slowly moving his head back until they were staring each other in the eyes. Lowering his eyelids, Shizuo moved forward to gently brush his lips with Izaya. Tasting the salt from his tears with every movement. Izaya stared in shock at the blond. But even he closed his eyes as their kissing got more urgent. Wishing the moment would never end. That all of this would prove to be just a horrible dream and he would wake up in Shizuo's warm embrace.

_Please let me wake up._

**A/N: Hello. Hope you liked this chapter. I hope to post the next one soon. Again please fill out my poll. I would really appreciate it. Oh and I was listening to This Love (will be your downfall) by Ellie Goulding. It is awesome and i would recommend listening to it. I used some lines from the song, guess which ones. Anyway I'm tired so bye and review please. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own durarara.**

**Shizuo's pov**

To be honest, he had no idea why he was doing this. And be this he meant kissing Izaya like his life depended on it. But was it his life on the line or Izaya's? Seeing Izaya look so calm as he neared the edge of the building. It did scary things to his heart. Seeing tears run down his face...

_I love you..._

"Please stop," Izaya pulled away. Looking down. His voice so filled with pain. Shizuo tried to find the right words but his mouth could just not form them.

"I hope you and my brother are happy together. And I wasn't going to jump by the way. So don't feel bad. I will leave your stuff there. Leave your key there please." He stopped for breath. Or was it just a moment to gather his courage. "I just need to get away for awhile. I think you can understand."

And all Shizuo could do was watch him walk away. The normal bounce in his step gone. Leaving him to fall to the ground in shock. And strangely enough no thought of Psyche crossed his mind. Was it odd that even his eyes began to glisten with unfallen tears.

_Why did you love me? I have only ever hurt you. All those dinners. All the missed dates. Blowing you off for your brother. You were always right there in front of me._

And the clouds turned dark in the air.

**Time skip (Izaya's apartment)**

He took his key and slowly unlocked the door. Taking a step in he saw that all his stuff was packed and there was two notes laying on one of the boxes. Lights were on in the other room. Then something stopped.

Standing there for minutes on end he listened as Izaya got dressed and packed what sounded like a suitcase. Finally reaching over he grabbed the letters and looked over the first one.

It was a letter stating that he had a new apartment. He skimmed through and saw that it even included directions and was situated near Psyche's house. Right around the corner to be more precise. And everything was signed and paid for by Izaya. Looking out for him and even doing one better.

Turning the paper over to see if there was anything else, he caught sight of familiar handwriting. Letting go of the first paper he stared at the note. And as he finished the small note on the bottom of the page he dropped it just as the other paper hit the floor. Rushing forward he grabbed the box it had rested on and started to tear it open. Forgetting that he wasn't there alone.

Hearing footsteps on the wood floor he looked up. And there was Izaya clutching a suitcase. Izaya's eyes widened as he took note that he had seen the note. He turned to ask him when he found the note but Izaya rushed out the door. His arms which had risen up against his knowledge, fell back to his side.

_...so I'll let you go._

**A/N: Hello people! I think this is longer than usual. And I know what I want to do in the next chapter so I might post it later today if I get enough reviews. And I want to know what you think is in the box. And please vote on the poll I have on my profile. Dgrayman is leading. So if you want more durarara then vote. Bye and review please. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own durarara. And I am currently listening to Oh Glory by Panic at the Disco. You should search it up people. Just saying.**

**Shizu-chan's pov**

What the hell was he to do? Royally screwing up his relationship was not something he really wanted to do. But he did. And that was what counts. How was he to know that Izaya had found the stupid list he had made? He was no different than his usual self. Well almost no different. Izaya had seemed to be less clingy and more understanding.

And letting him know just after they officially broke up. It sort of hurt. Maybe if this wasnt in the way then maybe they could have made it to the end. As much as he was upset with some of the informants antics he never wanted to hurt him this bad. Now though, all this fucking stupid shit had happened. And nothing could change what he did. It's not like he could just say forget about the giant fact that I slept with your twin brother who looks almost exactly like you. But is a better person.

No that would not work well at all. So he would just have to live with the decision he made. No matter how much it might come back to bit him the ass. Like it was doing right now.

He looked down at the notebook that he had taken from the box that the letters had rested on. And he almosted wanted to hate Izaya for doing this to him. Leaving this all on his how could he run from all the pain he had put him through? So he had read it. Forcing himself to turn page after page detailed with shaky handwriting. Filled with a broken man's pain of seeing his love seeking someone else's attention.

And he cursed the traitorous tears that ran down his face when he had come to the last page. That all the pages had been completely covered with the informant's writing. Except for the last page. Stroking the faint tear stains on the paper, he started to reread it.

_Shizu-chan! I really didn't want you to know all about what happened all those days you were gone. But I guess I just felt that it would be right. I don't want to leave any unsettled business so to speak. And don't worry I am not going to kill myself. I love myself to much to do that. And I couldn't just leave my precious humans like that, could I? Cause you should know I am actually a coward._

_Leaving this behind to explain rather than myself. Haha. Instead of confronting you._

_But I think I need a vacation. Would be pleasant I believe. I have never been on one before. Because my family wo-_

_Well, I guess I never told you about my family. Never did like living in the past. And mine certainly was never pleasant. But you can ask Psyche about that._

_So I bid thee farewell. And I hope you live a happy life cause I don't think I will come back anytime soon._

_I love you, Izaya Orihara_

**A/N: Hello people. Please dont kill me! I sort of got distracted with Battle Royals. Which is bloody fricking awesome. And then we started reading Lord of the Flies in English class. Which is also super great. And I had to read ahead and look up the movie. Then we are redoing our backyard, and that tires my out when I have to be outside for hours doing physical work under a hot sun. Add a bunch of homework with some projects thrown it. So since I am currently in a car for a few hours to kill, I am trying to update all my stories. Next chapter tune in for a confrontation with Psyche. What shall happen!?**

**And dgrayman is leading for the next series I write for. Vote if you want it to be durarara. Or one of the other options that I have up.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara. **

**Shizuo's pov**

I staggered past the last corner to Psyche's room. Knocking on the door, just barely to make sure I wouldn't knock it off its hinges, I waited for him to answer the door. Not to say that it would be the best time to talk to me. I wouldn't have come if Izaya hadn't left me with all these questions. My reflection in the mirror opposite the door showed me how I appeared.

Clothes soaked. Hair hanging in strands above my eyes. Nothing like how I looked when I left earlier. Calm. Composed. Expecting my death to be slow and painful for the crime of hurting Izaya. Not wanting it but feeling like I deserved as such. But now... I embraced the idea of death. If only some truck had hit me when I was wallking across the street. Then maybe all these feelings would just disappear.

I felt myself being pulled backwards into the large apartment. Tempted to strike the person who dared to do such a thing. But I saw Iza- wait Psyche's face in the mirror. I turned around and shut the door as calmly as I could before facing Psyche again. Taking in his appearance, I couldn't help but notice how calm and relaxed he was. Content even. Did he feel no remorse that he just betrayed his brother?

"Shizu-chan! Where were you this morning? I woke up and you were gone. Did something happen?" He questioned me while pulling on my arm. Taking me to the living room.

Trying to stop myself from pulling out of his grasp. To stop myself from yelling that he had no right to use that nickname. Izaya's nickname for me. I followed him and sank back into the cushions of the couch. Letting all my worries flow out of me for the time being.

"I went to talk to Izaya. About everything." I glanced at him. His lip was curled in disgust. Just as he opened his mouth to say something my eyes closed. I tried to wrap my mind around what was happening.

"Why would you still talk to that loser? Did he jump off a building?" He laughed as if that was the one thing he wanted to see before he died.

"How can you even say that?! Isn't he your brother?"

"That freak isn't my brother! Didn't you find it odd that he never spoke about me before and that he never asked to speak to me?" I stopped in place. Half sitting half out of my seat.

"Anyway I shouldn't have to explain myself to you. Didn't you always call him a monster. And you cheated on him. There must have been some reason." Psyche stood there in a huff.

"I...didn't...have a...reason."

"And yet you are trying to judge me about how I feel about my twin. How can you blame me for wanting him dead when you are the one that killed him?"

"Well at least I feel remorse! I thought you were a good person."

"Well you have a horrible judge of character then. Didn't my brother warn you against me?"

"Why would he?!"

"I don't know...maybe because he was our family's slave."

"What? How could you do that to him?"

"Must I explain yet again. He...is...a...freak."

**A/N: Hello people. Sorry for taking such a long time to update. These whole thing about my parents discovering fanfiction happened. Not fun. But I have an account purely for friendship so they haven't found this one. ^_^ review for faster updates. I want to hear your opinion.**


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own the series. Many apologies that I have taken forever to update. This is written on my iPod so please excuse mistakes you may come across. And written as I've gotten out of church. One of the most judgmental places ever, just accept gay people already. Though I couldn't stop staring at the flame on the candle I was holding...

Izaya's pov

Why is everything so bittersweet? I can't help but think as I look down at the wrapper of chocolate that I forced down. A beautiful blend of sweetness but with a hint of bitterness that made it bearable for me. Though probably sweet enough for Shizuo-chan to enjoy. How could this concoction mock me after all that I have been through?

But then again it is so fitting a term for me and my monster. Well not mine anymore...Psyche took care of that well enough...

I wiped away the tears that had formed in the corner of my eyes as I recalled all the memories that Shizuo and Psyche now shared. Memories that I have no part in. Other then the presence hovering over their shoulder until I slowly faded away over time. Like a child without understanding of feelings who moved away from their old good friend as new and more exciting people come into play, Shizuo moved past all that we had shared and gone through together for the new toy.

And what can I do? I am the child who was left behind. The one without his own voice because he relied on the one who left to speak for him. And he isn't ready to form his own backbone just yet. Not with the pain of betrayal fresh in his mind. With wounds that are still bleeding tears in his heart.

But does he even have the time to form a backbone or is it too late?

Mikado's pov

When hearing someone knock upon the door I have a couple of guesses as to who it is. First being Kida-kun. I doubt Anri cause she is really shy but I can dream. Celty is another option. And Izaya of course. Because for some reason he feels like I am a good listener and I actually care. Which I do just not all the time.

So when I opened the door and saw Izaya with bags probably filled with his clothes, I wasn't that surprised. I was the one he had gone to for help. I had all the information about Shizuo and Izaya's brother. Who quite frankly disgusted me.

I can understand masks that people put on to hide pain they are going through. But to have a mask just for the sake of it? It just doesn't seem right. At least Izaya is more true to himself and doesn't change to suit others. And in that respect I hate Psyche.

He has no respect for who he could actually be. Going along with his parents and making an outcast of his twin brother...

"Ok what do you want Izaya?" I sat down opposite of him as I noticed fresh tears that had appeared when I was making tea and musing.

"Ahh Mikado, can I stay here for a couple of days? I finally confronted him. And..." He looked down at the worn floor. " Well this is the last place he would think to find me."

"I don't think you give him enough credit." Turning around I turned my computer on and waited as it started. "But sure you can. As long as my apartment is not destroyed and you give me information regarding the gangs for free."

"Fine. If I see him I'll start running in the opposite direction." He faked a smile as he moved closer to see what I was searching up.

"Hmm then there is a matter of what you will do during the day cause you can't follow me to school and can't really go outside. And where you will sleep is another thing we need to figure out." Furrowing my brow I tried to figure out a solution.

"I see no problem with just sharing a bed. I'm not going to go for you, if that's what you think."

"No I'm not worried about that. You are pretty much Shizuosexual. It's like you wouldn't go for just anyone. And it is the same way for me with Kida. I like girls but Kida is simply the only exception to that." I felt something in my heart tug as I remembered the girl that Kida keeps going to go see at the hospital.

"Why are you on the dollars website right now?" He asked as he perched his head on my shoulder.

"I am looking up puzzles for you to put together when I am gone." I deadpanned.

"No I am looking up what damage your monster has done thus far." I bit my lip as I thought of a way to check up on him. "I am going to send Celty-San to find him. Though she really needs to learn that there are certain relationship boundaries she can't cross."

Hitting the message button I prayed she wouldn't mess this up anymore then had already been done.

A/N: Hello again. Really sorry this took so long. My birthday was last Friday and I have had a crazy amount of schoolwork. But I hope this chapter was long enough. And sorry if the characters were really OOC. It's like three almost four in the morning and obviously I am not thinking so well. And I have a new username and please check out the pictures I have for each story. I made them and I would really like feedback. So review please! I will now try and donate more of my time at night to write but I need some reassurance that people are still willing to read this. ^_^


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own durarara. I only own my ideas and situations on which I place the characters.**

**Shizu-chan's pov**

_How could they do that to him? He deserves love just as much as anyone else. Even if it isn't me who should fit that position. What right did they have to ruin his life? He was only a little boy then! How was he supposed to know that he shouldn't play doctor with hurt animals? Is that reason enough to view him as a demon!? That he reacted by turning and taking his anger out on kids his age. What else could he do when the safe haven that he was supposed to find with his parents collapsed in on him._

_They are the cause of his twisted personality. And they only make it worse with every conversation. Even going so far as to include his siblings in the mental and physical torture. If only I could have all of them in a line and punch them one by one. Would some of the pain ease then? "_Huh Izaya?"

"Dammit I'm talking to myself." I rubbed the burnt out cigarette on the concrete floor. Continueing on my way through the city as I tried to forget everything I had just heard from Psyche. Not that it was working. Each word just refused to leave my mind and only irritated my anger further.

Growling, I gave up hope of seeing Izaya one last time. To know that the list that I had written, he had found, was what his family had told him over and over again. Without restraint they forced him back in a corner until he reacted in the only way he knew how. Cruel words and carefully constructed indifference.

"I am such a fool!" I yelled into my hands as I sat back in a park bench. Scaring a young couple that was heading back from the store based off the bags they each held. While still making the space to hold hands. "Why did you have to fall in love with me?"

"I can only cause you pain. Are you such a fucking masochist that you would torture yourself even without your parents doing it for you?" Throwing my head back so I was seeing the world from upside down, I watched as Celty walked forward. Her fingers dancing over the keyboard of her phone already. Not skipping a beat as she stopped a foot away from my head.

"What do you want Celty? We broke up. And it was all my fault too." Chuckling as tears slid down and the laughter turned to painful sobs that ran throughout my entire body. "Who knew that flea would have such a sad childhood. I didn't. I didn't fuckin' know."

Finally the tapping stopped. And I could almost feel her gaze upon my ruined face. As if she wanted me to elaborate further. But it wasn't my story to tell. It was Izaya's.

**Mikado asked me to check up on you**. She showed me after a couple minutes passed. It made me wonder what the hell she had been typing before that could have transformed to such a small sentence. Not to mention why Mikado would want to check up on me. It not like he could...

Does he know?

**A/N: I think this was pretty good. Hope you liked the chapter. Next chapter could include the reunion of Shizuo and Izaya. But you know, I would really appreciate reviews. I saw that I had gotten ten reviews for one chapter. Could that possible happen again? Could you pass that? Anywho, I have a bunch of ideas I am dying to write for various series. Hope you can check them out when ever I get around to writing and posting them.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara. Its a sad world. T_T**

**Shizuo's pov**

_Why the hell would Mikado try to check up for me? We aren't friends or anything..._

_But Izaya does have a interest in him. Would he really go over there?_

I kept jogging down the street before I realized probably the most important thing. "Shit!"

I had no idea where the hell Mikado lived. And I had been running like an idiot for ten minutes not knowing where I was going. Turning around I saw that Celty had been following me. I saw her pull out her phone and type. Showing me the screen a few seconds later

**Hop on.**

Climbing on quickly, we were zooming down back alley after back alley. And I could see that I had been heading in the right direction if I made a few more turns. Stocking this piece of information away for future reference in case I ever needed it. But hopefully this would be my last visit to Mikado's home.

And before I knew it, we were there. In front of one of the most shabby apartments ever built. I was tempted to go back because I just couldn't see Izaya staying here when I realized that it smelled strongly of him. I hadn't even given the thought of tracking him down by his smell like I did in the old days a try. Hitting myself in the head for my stupidity. I went and knocked at the door. Disregarding the time of day it was.

"Who is it?" Mikado said as he opened the door. "Ah Shizuo-san I've been expecting you. Izaya didn't think you would be smart enough to find this place. He's in the back sleeping."

Pushing past him till I reached the end of the hallway. I saw Izaya curled up with the blanket barely reaching his shoulders. I pulled it up a bit more so he would be covered better. Stirring slightly I thought he was going to wake up but he stayed sleeping.

I could see faint tear tracks on his face. He suddenly frowned and shivered. He pulled the blanket up some more. Almost covering his face. I whispered,"How long has he been here?"

"Well since whenever he left his apartment." He continued. "Shizuo-san, you do realize that it is unlikely he will forgive you?"

"Do you know everything?" He nodded. "I know that but I can still try. I made a horrible mistake and I can only dream of a second chance. But even if I have to wait forever for his forgiveness, he is worth it."

"Why did you do it in the first place? Why not just break up with him?" He shook his head. "It would have been better for everyone involved."

"I don't know. There was just all these things." I sighed. "He had all these little...quirks...that made him who he is but could be annoying as hell. I met Psyche and he was just everything that I wanted in Izaya's body."

"But still you didn't break up with Izaya even though you were pretty much seeing Psyche everyday."

"It quite frankly never passed my mind. As much as I was 'annoyed' with Izaya I couldn't dream of a world without him. He was a consistent in my life that I needed." I gave a soft chuckle of all the times we had together. "The damn flea never left me alone. And before I knew it we were in a relationship. After years of fighting. Us."

"Kind of makes you wish you hadn't messed up in the first place." The brat whispered as he stared at me.

"Yeah it does."

_Of course it does._

**A/N: And there you have it folks. The end of this story. Joking. I love this story probably more than you guys and I have to reach a conclusion. So this story will be going on for a few more chapters. Or until I feel this is complete. Hmm I might write a companion fic of sorts which would deal mainly from Mikado's perspective cause I just love him to death. And i want something for him and Kida. Also you guys did not meet the goal I set for you. *sigh* oh well. That had nothing to do with the late update. Really. But anyway please review. ^_^**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own durarara. Or the song 'which to bury us or the hatchet'.**

**Izaya's pov**

I couldn't stop the endless cycle of waking up and crying before passing out again. But this time it felt different. I almost thought I smelled Shizuo and it immediately calmed me. And I hated myself for it. For still wanting to rely on him in spite of what he has done to me.

Though I wanted to rid myself of anything that reminded me of him, I would allow myself this one thing. So I shuffled closer to the object with my eyes close. Not wanting to blind myself with the light that was one in the room. I almost thought it was Shizuo because the fabric that rubbed my nose felt exactly like his clothes. But I discarded that almost as soon as I thought it.

Why the hell would he follow me?

But as much as I wished otherwise, I wanted him to follow me. To take me into his arms and tell me it was all just a bad dream. That he had me and would never let me go. I wanted to laugh at my delusions that he would ever possibly say that.

The great and mighty Shizuo-san lowering himself to whisper sweet nothings? In what lifetime would that happen? Certainly not this one. If he was in love with a girl maybe. They needed soft words and a gentle touch. But with men it is ok to be 'gruff' and speak what is truly on your mind. Why lie to those who are equal to you?

But then again, did he lie to me? With sneaking off to see Psyche and all the shit he had to say about me. I know I avoided talking about it. So I guess I couldn't blame him for not bringing it up.

Slowly opening my eyes because darn it I was hungry and I needed to be able to see to eat. I was shocked to see that I was cuddling up with a person who looked suspiciously like Shizuo. Tempted to look up at the face I didn't want to dare. But the decision was made for me.

A hand slowly lifted my head so I was face to face with my monster. His mouth was some weird combination of a smile and frown. Like he couldn't decide which should grace his face. But faint tear lines shimmered as they led back to eyes covered with his signature shades.

Pushing away as fast as I could, I observed him from a distance. Crumpled clothes that said he was having a hard day. And the blanket that I had been using clutched in his hand. Looking around I couldn't find Mikado but the front door that appeared slightly open suggested that he was outside. But I couldn't put off talking to Shizuo any longer.

"What do you want?" I whispered. Glad that at least my voice didn't crack.

"Izaya..." He scratched his head. "I am so sorry."

"If that's all you have to say you can leave." Even I winced at my cold tone.

"No there's more." He took a deep breath. "I love you. What I did was stupid. And I deserve whatever you do to me."

Glancing at me he continued. "He was a stupid mistake. He isn't you."

"Well it seemed that's what you liked about him." I stood up as tall as I could. "You know I found that list?"

He nodded with a pained look on his face. And while I wish I could just forget this entire thing it wasn't that simple. He had to know what I went through.

"I thought if I went and completed all those things you wanted different in me everything would be ok. I wouldn't have to deal with the fact that I drove you away."

"I would nev-"

"But you still moved furthur and furthur away. Seems like those weren't the real issues."

"Please! It was stup-"

"I love you." I gave a laugh. "Even with all the pain you have put me through. Can you believe it?"

"Izaya..."

"It seems like I can't hate you. And I don't want to fight with you. Cause I will always love you. But I really can't deal with you right now." Sighing before I stepped closer to him. "I don't like you right now. There is just too much pain."

He looked at me as I took another step. Which took me in reach of him in this small apartment. Grabbing hold of his bartender vest I pulled him closer. Staring into his eyes I saw all the pain that he felt and his longing for forgiveness.

"This all got out of hand way too quickly. You never even gave me a chance to change. Cause I would have changed for you." I kissed him. He froze in shock. "The idiot that I am."

"Izaya does this mean..." I let go of him.

"No. You are going to leave and tell Mikado to come back in. Because I really don't want to see you right now."

**A/N: Well that seemed like a good place to stop. Sorry for taking so long to write. I'm horrible with planning and procrastinate way too much. Anyway I love your reviews. Please grant me with more. And I just need them to finish with a happy ending. Ahh the romantic I am. So hope you enjoyed this chapter and the ones that will come. And before I forget. I am writing a companion fic of sorts that centers around Mikado and Kida. Cause I seriously love Mikado. Its Just So You Know. Check it out if you want. And please review.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I do not own the series. Ugh wow its tough to get back into the motions of writing. Which I apologize for. Finally out of school for the summer but ive gotten a job babysitting my cousins. So many apologies for not writing this sooner.**

**Izaya's pov**

I couldn't help but wonder if I had made the right choice. What had I done? Telling him how much he still meant to me was never my plan. But then again, I had never thought he would bother to look for me after he was released from his relationship with me. Because why the hell did it have to be now when he decided to actually give a damn about me?

Laying back, I stared at the ceiling as I heard Mikado come in. I sighed as it squeaked shut. I seriously had to get him a less annoying door. He came and sat beside me.

"Do you think I made the right decision?" I asked. I was half afraid to know. "Should I have taken him back?"

"It depends," he began. "Do you think you could forgive him?"

"Probably." I sighed. "Yes. Does that make me an idiot?"

He glanced at me. "Yeah it sort of does. Not that I can blame you. People always want to believe the best in others."

"Well good to know." I sat up. "So did I make a mistake?"

"You probably could have told him to go fuck himself and he would have felt he deserved it. What you said was probably a lot less then what he was expecting to hear."

"Oh my Mikado, what has happened to the naive little boy who moved here months ago?" I teased.

"He died when you decided that he was a good person for relationship advice. Regardless of the fact that he has never been in a relationship before." He glared at me. I guess maybe I shouldn't have asked him about those things.

"Ok ok. Maybe I shouldn't have but you have to be the nicest person I know. Everyone else would simply try to ruin my life with the information I give you. For free!"

"Well you could have kept it for free." He glared at me. But we both froze when we heard the door open and shut.

You tell anyone I was here? I mouthed to him. He shook his head. Looking up into the hallway leading from the door we saw a figure emerge.

"Kida?"

**A/N: Okay well hopefully I'll update soon. I will probably have time on the weekends to write. Sorry for this taking forever. Please review and/or favorite and/or follow.**


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